General
New to TransplantLyfe
Updated May 16, 2026
in General
HI!
I am a 4 on the heart transplant list. My cardiac care team says I have to become less healthy before I will get moved up the list. I have been a 4 since April 2025. Currently I wear a Milrinone pump and take numerous meds. I go to cardiac rehab 3 day per week for intense exercise to stay in shape for when I get the call.
I have been single for about 2 years. I have no idea how to ask someone on a date with my heart condition. Seems like a deal breaker. Any advice on my journey would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
TigerMark
Tagged:
1 - 6 of 6 Replies
Hi Mark! Welcome! So glad you found us. I’m a two-time kidney transplant recipient, and I’ve been on this journey for over 25 years. It all started for me when I was 16 years old. Prime dating years.
One piece of advice I always give is to be honest and open about your journey, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. The right person will not see your transplant as a burden. They’ll want to walk beside you through it all and support you along the way.
My friend Sam, who I tagged below, is also a heart transplant recipient and has been happily married for what feels like forever, haha. He may have some words of advice. There absolutely are people out there who will love and accept you exactly as you are.
@Sdey0522
Thank you so much Jeanmarie!!!
Welcome to TransplantLyfe! So happy you are here and grateful that you are sharing your story with us. I totally agree with Jeanmarie. Being open and honest and allowing the person to make that choice for themselves. I was 19 when I started dialysis and I did not want to bring anyone into what was ahead of me especially not knowing how long I would be on dialysis or how the transplant recovery would be. My now husband did not care about that at all and been there for almost every step in my journey especially post-transplant. I can totally understand where you are coming from, but everybody deserves to find their person (if they wish) and feel like they are deserving of their care and love!
Transplant Patient
Welcome! I received a liver transplant at 23, but I've been sick my entire life. Which means my partner has seen both the good and the bad. When we first got together, I was definitely really hesitant about "acting sick" or bringing it up. I think he had a vague idea I had a condition but no idea what it actually entailed. The first time I did anything I labeled as remotely sick person behaviour in front of him, I'm pretty sure I almost had a panic attack with how anxious I was (and I probably would have avoided it if I had any other option, but my body kind of forced my hand). It didn't phase him at all, and if anything he was upset I'd made myself sicker by doing all these tricks to keep him from knowing. So honesty is definitely the best policy in my books. Post transplant life brought us to a whole new level, and we're still balancing that caregiver/patient dynamic with our daily lives but I also feel so lucky we grew together instead of apart during this whole thing.
I also know the wait list is its own beast entirely, so I'm sending you all the best wishes on your journey towards living a healthier life. I'm sure it's been mentioned before but we have some brilliant people both here and in our support groups that would love to provide some insight if you have specific questions, or just be another support to you
Thank you so much!!!
Thank you so much!!!